Impending Zombie Apocalypse

Tom Dougherty, CEO – Stealing Share

13 January 2017

Zombie Apocalypse is possible

The Impending Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Apocalypse The danger of a Zombie apocalypse is real. Yesterday, I read a news story in Popular Science on why scientists are obsessed with zombies.

Ok. So the story was really about modeling disease epidemics. Apparently, scientists occasionally model zombie scenarios. They do it as a means of understanding the dynamics of REAL diseases.

“The entire east coast will be zombified within just a few days after the zombie outbreak.”

The take away is simple. Move to Montana.

Yup, it’s true. Those of us who live on the densely populated coasts are toast. When (not if) the zombie pandemic hits, city dwellers will be feasting on each other’s fleshy parts within a week. The entire east coast will be zombified within just a few days after the zombie outbreak.

No need to choose between Atlanta, Boston or San Diego. By the way, San Diego just lost its NFL team to Los Angeles. As if LA was more immune to zombie infestation. Geez. The San Diego Chargers. Misinformed.

Anyway, back to Montana. It seems, according to the CDC, that it will take many weeks for the zombie plague to reach Big Sky Country.

Is moving to Montana a smart Pre-Zombie Apocalypse move?

zombie apacolypse

You have to consider the smarts of moving. Do you want to hang around long enough to see all of your friends, families and neighbors eat each other and be eaten? These sorts of conundrums keep brand strategists up all night.

But back to the REAL issue at hand. Montana tourism and relocation.

If I were Montana, I would consider CVB campaign built around zombie avoidance. Based upon Google searches, the idea of a Zombie Apocalypse is THE NUMBER one search term. Now in full disclosure, I just made that number up. But I will deny doing so when pressed. I want you to be more interested in my intent (heart) and less interested in what I actually say.

Zombie ApocalypseAnyway. If the Montana brand could own this idea of zombie safety, I predict its population would explode. Thus making the reason for moving to Montana moot.

However, this change in population size (before they become last to join the walkers) would make them the big kid on the block. At least the big kid in politics.

Montana would quickly take the crown in the Electoral College from California.

Suddenly the Montana primary would become more important than New Hampshire (states that currently share the same population size).

What the Zombie Apocalypse REALLY means?

It means we can all forget Brexit, Russian influence in the US election process, educating the needy and feeding the poor. We can concentrate once again on the important issues of our time. Bad luck. Friday the 13th is bad luck.

62 Comments

  1. Chase Hilyer

    I wish that there are gonna be zombie some day cuz wanna see one in person

    Reply
    • hahahahano

      hopefully u get affected and i get to blow ur head off

      Reply
      • Corbin

        Thank God getting infected is not even a remote possibility.

        Reply
        • rowan

          god is not real

          Reply
          • Someone

            Yes he is.

          • lololololo

            it is just your opinion

          • Apple

            God is real so you need to be quiet because don’t know what you talking about 😡

          • Captain Elisa Sparrow

            Yeah he is. I saw him flying in the sky when I was like really young. and I wasn’t seeing things. it was real! I saw what he looks like! Of course most people don’t believe me. But i know what I saw. I was in the car looking up in the sky and I saw him! It was amazing.

          • Captain Elisa Sparrow

            Aye God is real. I saw him, he was in the sky looking down. I saw him flying! I’m serous! It was amazing and I wasn’t seeing things.

      • Bj

        MeTO

        Reply
    • Skeleton256

      I would be a modern hermit with my friends and family and live near a camp that is on a mountain. So then once we hear that there is a zombie outbreak my clan would build a wall (with our own hands) with four gates and with 8 watch towers (two watch towers at each gate) our fortress would be a compass N. gate, S.gate, W. gate, E. gate. we would have eight teams. scavenger team, guard team, intercept team, scout team, reinforce team, supply team, A-Z teams on Zombie herd take down teams, and night guards (only wake at night with night goggles). we would have bows and arrows, crossbows, swords, and shields. we would also have nothing loud. we would also have torches (flashlights maybe), lanterns. four clans N. clan, S. clan, W. clan, E. clan, one main leader that are in charge of all four Clans.

      I hope this would work. If not then WHY!?

      Reply
      • Telle

        That’s sound like a great plan

        Reply
        • milton

          lets kill those zombies

          Reply
      • Charlotte

        Where would your fortress be cuz I would love to join it if that is ok

        Reply
      • Buggsoup

        Sign me up.

        Reply
      • Calista Willis

        Have you seen the walking dead. They did build a wall, but there were too many zombies coming from the borderlines and you would be right in the middle of it because you are in the mountains.

        Reply
      • Kay

        Sounds like Fortnite

        Reply
      • John

        No the castle with the watchtowers in the wall it’s kind of a good idea but what if somebody in your crew has the infection and they didn’t know it and want everybody sleeping they wake up and there’s a zombie and they Massacre everybody and what if you need supplies and guns are useful like sniper rifles cuz what if your Castle is surrounded and your bows and arrows what if you lost the air all the arrows and when he went out to get them you were surrounded by zombies in your client got killed so I would just say like what my plan is when it does hit is I am going to go to a military base I am going to get bombs guns with lots of ammunition and armored truck with tanks and armored and gas for my Dodge Challenger and then I will go to a store through throw a bomb into the store and left and Surround it and let them blow up like confetti then that’s the perfect place to stay like a store cuz they have guns they have food they have water they have everything you need for probably like like years and in the back they I’m sure they have special stuff and they have guns and ammunition they have machetes that have knives yeah that’s up to the roof and they lay down with like snipers and all the guns will have silencers so it doesn’t cost too much attention and then your snipe a lot of zombies and the zombies can’t climb up on the roof unless there’s some stairs going up if that’s idiotic if you put stairs going up to your your sniping area and then you can just snipe a whole bunch of zombies and it actually sounds quite fun if you’re protected and you don’t get eaten cuz you just get to rage out on brain dead zombies

        Reply
        • Abc

          Would if we just create an antizombie spray!

          Reply
      • Cypress Wolf

        wouldn’t it make more sense to build that BEFORE the apocalypse?

        Reply
      • Crimson Derringer

        Smart Move dude!

        Reply
      • slasher

        bro let me stay with you when the zombie apocalypse happens but let my friends stay also

        Reply
      • steel

        let my clan stay with you we could help we already love to kill and I’ve watched lots of zombie movies and i would listen to you and i use a katana

        Reply
      • sup' critcs

        hmm..boy…… you do have a hela of a cretivity…….

        Reply
      • Zombieoutbreak

        Please tell me where this fortress is so I can join

        Reply
    • Dundar Ozdemir

      Trust me it would not be like walking dead where zombies just walk :)

      Reply
    • Adrian

      i will kill all the zombies. this will not happen this is just stupid shit. i am tellin you.

      Reply
    • jeff

      Y’all are on *$%#@ crack

      Reply
    • jeff

      Y’all are on *$%#@ crack like for real crack and drugs

      Reply
    • Abc

      I hope the zombies come after you first just because you said that!

      Reply
    • Rank

      Is it weird that I want it to happen, I mean we are almost always controlled by others,it would be sort of a free for all.

      Reply
    • Wyatt Snow

      AGREED BRO. it would be so cool

      Reply
    • Liom

      No you would die idiot I bet none of you know how tho stay alive I am prepared

      Reply
    • Marrian

      Me too. but i just wanna kill them

      Reply
  2. Abigail byrne

    If there was one you should hide in somewhere secure or high with a lot of food and water only share with your own family and have wepons also keep track of your food and drink. If running low the eldest of the family has to go and get food do all of this or baracate yourself in a room with lots of food and water and somewhere to do your bisness also take a charger a laptop or something and keep in tuch with what’s happening in the world. Take pets and there food aswell and water do all this and you will survive a zombie apocalypse

    Reply
    • Keathan Mckinley

      You also need weapons,too

      Reply
      • The Zombie Slayer

        Yeah i have a axe in the shed and 2 baseball bats not to mention a rifle in the safe.

        Reply
    • The Zombie slayer

      Yeah but where will the water be at I plan to get mine at those water towers hopefully none r contaminated.

      Reply
    • Calista Willis

      I doubt there would be electricity of the zombie apocalypse. You would have to come out eventually and Im sure the zombies would surround the place. What would you do?

      Reply
    • Abc

      Or I could just get my mom! She is scary and has a gun! My dad on the other hand…..

      Reply
  3. Keathan Mckinley

    just in case

    Reply
  4. James

    Is it possible?! For real? How?! If so, I don’t think I will able to survive because I am handicapped. Good Luck, Everyone who survive in the future and safe in Montana.

    Reply
    • The Zombie Slayer

      If one does happen i will find an axe in my shed and my siblings metal baseball bats and I will wire the mustang to Montana I know where it is. So if u want to survive when it comes meet me at Suwannee middle school and i will be ready.

      Reply
      • zoniac

        i like ur plan staying aliveand keep moving :)

        Reply
  5. ZombiKill

    I would really love a zombie apocalypse to happen because i would be slayin’ zom’s all day long

    Reply
    • Sky

      Yeah you Are deffinately going to be one of the first dead!

      Reply
  6. Aaron

    If U Wanna Be Safe Come With Me I Have Everything To Survive And I’ll Build A Castle Tommorow Meet Me In DownTown Santa Rosa

    Reply
  7. Lorenzo

    I don’t believe in the living dead type of zombies but I definitely believe in 28 days later type of zombies especially the ones where it’s a bio chemical attack or a biological weapon look out because they are making weapons to do this

    Reply
  8. Sonic

    When the Zombie outbreak occurs i will be ready

    Reply
  9. akdanger

    i live in a small town called silverton 1 mile by 1 mile its in colorado. the zombie apocalypse should happen in aproxamitly 79 days 11 hours and 39 minutes from the time this comment is uploaded. i read some of the comments and some were interesting but weak some were smart but had some HUGE flaws and some could save your life and good job to skeleton256 that was a brilliant idea though you might want to think about time you might want to start about last year with how long that would take.
    also guns are not the best option they are loud and could attract a heard if near by i personally have a metal pipe about 2.5 feet long and 1.5 inches wide light but strong. i suggest you pack some warm layers and some shorts just in case and binoculares and a slingshot arent a bad idea. good luck and stay safe

    Reply
    • Jessica

      It didn’t happen

      Reply
  10. Leon Kenndy

    JUST LIKE LEON KENNDY SAID ( YOU GONNA SHOT THEM IN THE HEAD )

    Reply
  11. Leon Kenndy

    YOU GONNA SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD ALWAYS SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD, AND BE SMART!

    Reply
  12. nicolas

    no no zombie apocalypse god will help us

    Reply
  13. u

    I wil go to d least populated country with the highest protection, a day before the z apocalypse

    Reply
  14. Anonymous

    Zombies are real, I know all of the trolls will just eat this up and be assholes. I know FEMA and CDC do giant training exercises to stop the spread of zombies and to defend the continuity of government. The United States Government would not spend all of the time and money to not only do the exercises but also keep them hidden from the public if it were not a real threat. If you want to learn, seek the truth!

    -Anonymous-

    Reply
  15. Cheryl

    if it happened so be it I have watched enough
    The Walking Dead to take care of myself I’ve got a katana

    Reply
  16. Panda

    akdanger- it’s been longer than 79 days… how come it still hasn’t happened yet?

    Reply
  17. assassin playz ext

    hi people that fort thing is cool but i have already made a doomsday box that is a box containing all papers related to the outbreak

    Reply

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