Impending Zombie Apocalypse

Tom Dougherty, CEO – Stealing Share

13 January 2017

Zombie Apocalypse is possible

The Impending Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Apocalypse The danger of a Zombie apocalypse is real. Yesterday, I read a news story in Popular Science on why scientists are obsessed with zombies.

Ok. So the story was really about modeling disease epidemics. Apparently, scientists occasionally model zombie scenarios. They do it as a means of understanding the dynamics of REAL diseases.

“The entire east coast will be zombified within just a few days after the zombie outbreak.”

The take away is simple. Move to Montana.

Yup, it’s true. Those of us who live on the densely populated coasts are toast. When (not if) the zombie pandemic hits, city dwellers will be feasting on each other’s fleshy parts within a week. The entire east coast will be zombified within just a few days after the zombie outbreak.

No need to choose between Atlanta, Boston or San Diego. By the way, San Diego just lost its NFL team to Los Angeles. As if LA was more immune to zombie infestation. Geez. The San Diego Chargers. Misinformed.

Anyway, back to Montana. It seems, according to the CDC, that it will take many weeks for the zombie plague to reach Big Sky Country.

Is moving to Montana a smart Pre-Zombie Apocalypse move?

zombie apacolypse

You have to consider the smarts of moving. Do you want to hang around long enough to see all of your friends, families and neighbors eat each other and be eaten? These sorts of conundrums keep brand strategists up all night.

But back to the REAL issue at hand. Montana tourism and relocation.

If I were Montana, I would consider CVB campaign built around zombie avoidance. Based upon Google searches, the idea of a Zombie Apocalypse is THE NUMBER one search term. Now in full disclosure, I just made that number up. But I will deny doing so when pressed. I want you to be more interested in my intent (heart) and less interested in what I actually say.

Zombie ApocalypseAnyway. If the Montana brand could own this idea of zombie safety, I predict its population would explode. Thus making the reason for moving to Montana moot.

However, this change in population size (before they become last to join the walkers) would make them the big kid on the block. At least the big kid in politics.

Montana would quickly take the crown in the Electoral College from California.

Suddenly the Montana primary would become more important than New Hampshire (states that currently share the same population size).

What the Zombie Apocalypse REALLY means?

It means we can all forget Brexit, Russian influence in the US election process, educating the needy and feeding the poor. We can concentrate once again on the important issues of our time. Bad luck. Friday the 13th is bad luck.

40 Comments

  1. Keathan Mckinley

    just in case

    Reply
  2. James

    Is it possible?! For real? How?! If so, I don’t think I will able to survive because I am handicapped. Good Luck, Everyone who survive in the future and safe in Montana.

    Reply
  3. Lorenzo

    I don’t believe in the living dead type of zombies but I definitely believe in 28 days later type of zombies especially the ones where it’s a bio chemical attack or a biological weapon look out because they are making weapons to do this

    Reply
  4. Sonic

    When the Zombie outbreak occurs i will be ready

    Reply
  5. akdanger

    i live in a small town called silverton 1 mile by 1 mile its in colorado. the zombie apocalypse should happen in aproxamitly 79 days 11 hours and 39 minutes from the time this comment is uploaded. i read some of the comments and some were interesting but weak some were smart but had some HUGE flaws and some could save your life and good job to skeleton256 that was a brilliant idea though you might want to think about time you might want to start about last year with how long that would take.
    also guns are not the best option they are loud and could attract a heard if near by i personally have a metal pipe about 2.5 feet long and 1.5 inches wide light but strong. i suggest you pack some warm layers and some shorts just in case and binoculares and a slingshot arent a bad idea. good luck and stay safe

    Reply
    • Jessica

      It didn’t happen

      Reply
  6. Leon Kenndy

    JUST LIKE LEON KENNDY SAID ( YOU GONNA SHOT THEM IN THE HEAD )

    Reply
  7. Leon Kenndy

    YOU GONNA SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD ALWAYS SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD, AND BE SMART!

    Reply
  8. u

    I wil go to d least populated country with the highest protection, a day before the z apocalypse

    Reply
  9. Anonymous

    Zombies are real, I know all of the trolls will just eat this up and be assholes. I know FEMA and CDC do giant training exercises to stop the spread of zombies and to defend the continuity of government. The United States Government would not spend all of the time and money to not only do the exercises but also keep them hidden from the public if it were not a real threat. If you want to learn, seek the truth!

    -Anonymous-

    Reply
  10. Cheryl

    if it happened so be it I have watched enough
    The Walking Dead to take care of myself I’ve got a katana

    Reply
  11. Panda

    akdanger- it’s been longer than 79 days… how come it still hasn’t happened yet?

    Reply

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