Stop the pumpkin spice madness

Tom Dougherty, CEO – Stealing Share

11 October 2016

Haven’t we been tortured enough?

Tis’ the season. Unfortunately. And I blame pumpkin spice.

I’d like to put that “unfortunately” in giant bold letters with three or four exclamation points and a few underlines to boot, but I have my standards.

pumpkin spice

This little critter started the pumpkin spice movement.

Don’t worry, I am not being a scrounge. So just relax. I am not taking a shot at Christmastime, not in any shape or form whatsoever. Christmas happens to be my favorite time of year, more now as it is also the birthday of my granddaughter. Just saying.

Nope, I am alluding to what has become the pinnacle of annoying times as a shopper. The grand ole’ time when everything under the sun has become infused with pumpkin spice. Gag me now.

This whole trend had a modicum of pleasantness at first. Sure, I liked a latte from Starbucks, especially when the ingredients in it were entirely real (so they said) and not artificial.

But the dyke spewed forth. A deluge of products — ludicrous ones at that — hit shelves everywhere. Consider the repulsiveness of the following:

  • Boulder Canyon Pumpkin Pie Kettle Cooked Potato Chips
  • Kellogg’s Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini Wheats
  • Pumpkin Spice Oreos
  • Bert’s Bees Pumpkin Spice Lip Balm
  • Extra Pumpkin Spice Gum

It’s like a car wreck. You don’t want to look, but oh man it’s so bad. You just can’t peel your eyes away.

Is this the zenith of the Pumpkin Spice Apocalypse? 

I would give anything to make it go away. As Forbes indicated, however, the movement has become a $500 million niche craze, thanks to Starbucks.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

I beg of you, I plead. I’ll give you your latte if you promise me no more scented lightbulbs or dog cologne or Pringles. I just can’t take it any longer.

See more posts in the following related categories: Holidays Pringles Pumpkin spice Starbucks

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