I did a double take when I heard this: Pizza Hut is offering pizza with a Doritos crust.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Somewhere between a menu that can read customer’s thoughts by the motion of your eyes as read by a tableted menu, and this insane new tortilla crust concept, Pizza Hut has completely derailed.
I apologize for my cynicism.
You know what. I take that back. I believe businesses have an obligation to their customers to be sensible.
This all reminds me of a scene from the Werner Herzog documentary, Grizzly Man. In the film, Timothy Tredwell both explored and lived with Alaskan grizzlies. Tredwell would return to the habitat every year, until he broke his traditional staying pattern, and was eaten alive by an emaciated and hungry Grizzly. At one point in the film, Herzog narrated that the grizzlies had left Tredwell alone because they assumed he was mentally damaged. The grizzlies cognitively understood that a sane animal would not act in the way Tredwell was (attempting to live among a massive and carnivorous animal), and so they left him alone.
While a seemingly complex analogy, the connection here is simple: when one is clear minded, you seek to avoid those with damaged thought processes.
And so, with decisions like a bevy of Doritos acting as crust – and an idiotic soothsayer menu – Pizza Hut is looking more and more damaged by the day. I know I’ll be staying away. Just like those bears.